There was a moment in this conversation that stayed with me.
Not because it was new…
but because it put words to something I think I’ve been circling for a long time.
“Tell me more.”
Three simple words.
But when I really sat with them, I realized how rarely we use them the way they’re meant to be used
Not to gather information.
Not to move the conversation forward.
But to stay.
To stay with someone in what they’re feeling—without fixing it, without redirecting it, without needing it to resolve quickly.
That hasn’t always been natural for me.
When you grow up in a house where things feel unpredictable, you learn to read the room quickly. You learn how to anticipate, how to manage, how to soften or step in or stay quiet—whatever keeps things from escalating.
What you don’t always learn is how to sit in something.
You learn how to move through it.
Or around it.
Or away from it.
But sitting with someone in it… that’s different.
Jody talked about empathy in a way that felt both simple and confronting.
“The prerequisite for empathy is context.”
And I keep thinking about that.
Because when you understand the context of someone’s behaviour—their history, their fear, what they’ve had to carry—it doesn’t mean you agree with it.
But it changes how you see it.
It softens the edges.
It makes space for something other than judgment.
And maybe that’s where tell me more lives.
Not as a question we ask because we’re curious…
but as a way of saying:
I’m here.
I’m not going anywhere.
You don’t have to rush through this.
There’s a kind of regulation that happens in that space.
Not because anything has been solved—
but because someone isn’t alone in it anymore.
And I think about that a lot now.
In my own relationships.
With my kids.
With myself.
How often do I actually stay?
How often do I try to fix, or explain, or move things along… instead of just letting something be what it is for a moment longer?
“Tell me more” sounds small.
But it might be one of the most powerful things we can offer each other.
Until next time,
Jenn
🎧 You can listen to my full conversation with Dr. Jody Carrington here:
The Shadows We Cast: Known
